ONCE upon a time, on one cold morning in Denver, Colorado, in the United States of America, I accompanied my aunty to her caregiving job where I met and had a life-changing experience with an aged couple between the ages of 80 and 85 and for the sake of privacy in this article, I will refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. Rivers.
It all began when my aunty indicated to Mr. and Mrs. Rivers that it was time for them to take their shower, and to my surprise, an argument broke between the couple who, a moment ago, sat calmly by each other holding hands.
This argument which lasted for over 20 minutes was to determine who had to take their shower first.
At different points of the argument, Mr. Rivers came to where I was sitting and asked smiling, “Hi, what is your name?” I politely mentioned my name but apparently my answer was not satisfactory enough as he kept asking me the same question almost every four minutes during the entire period of the argument.
Mrs. Rivers, on the other hand, who was in a wheelchair and also had a poor eye sight, stayed at one spot full of anger and kept shouting there was no way in the world she was going to shower first.
My aunty in a bid to lure Mrs. Rivers into taking her shower first, had to tell her the usual story that her limousine will be coming in soon to take her to a big party and so she needed to get ready before it arrives.
Interestingly, in the middle of her story, Mr. Rivers as though in a bid to delay Mrs. Rivers from attending her party agreed to shower first and began to undress.
However, his reason for his sudden change of mind made me even more fascinated about what was unfolding.
Without anyone asking, he told us that, he could hear a helicopter coming to take him for the party and so he would not want to be late.
My aunty, therefore, hurried to shower him and told Mrs. Rivers that I will be keeping her company whiles she attended to her husband.
In a bid to cheer up Mrs. Rivers as she had a sad face, I drew nearer to her to engage her in a conversation.
I asked her how she was doing but she did not make any attempt to respond and I went further to ask whether she had had something to eat.
To my utmost bewilderment, she had a sudden change in mood from sadness to great happiness and asked if I knew her siblings.
However, before I could utter a word in an attempted response, she happily continued babbling as if to make nonsense of her earlier question, by telling me how she could fly a helicopter very high and sometimes how she could even fly by herself without the helicopter far into space.
At this point, I was in total confusion but kept silent to see where this story would end.
She then asked me if I knew how to use a gun for which I replied in the negative.
She proceeded to demonstrate to me by one hand how she shot all her sisters and children dead some years back.
To my dismay, she said she was willing to kill me too if only I will allow her.
At this juncture, before fear would completely take over my confusion, she changed the story to the fact that she was excited about attending the party to meet her parents and all her children, including those she had just told me she shot.
Before she could go on, my aunty showed up with Mr. Rivers neatly dressed in his trousers and shirt.
Now it was time for Mrs. Rivers to take her shower. As soon as they entered the bathroom, another drama unfolded.
I could hear her shouting and raining insults on my aunty, threatening to call 911 – the Police emergency number in the USA – to arrest my aunty because she was attempting to kill her. The ranting went on for her entire showering period.
I was alone with Mr. Rivers and so as just as I did with his wife, I asked how he was doing and, to cut a long story short, his version of a response was even more horrifying than what his wife had just told me.
But hmmm…. thanks to the doorbell, Ms. Judy, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Rivers, walked into the room and with a big smile inquired if I have had the opportunity to interact with her parents.
I was eager to know what she thought of the things her mother had just told me about killing her siblings and children and so I narrated the story to her. To my surprise, she just burst out with laughter and stated; “I have heard those stories over and over again, but guess what, none of them is true.”
She went further to explain that at old age, people go through a lot of transformation, such as dementia, forgetfulness, retirement, becoming sexually inactive, experiencing bladder control problems, grey hair, among others, and that affects every aspect of their being, including what they say, their behaviour and thought pattern and so on.
“This is old age for you, my dear, the period of life after youth and middle age and it comes with a lot of transformation,” she stated.
Suddenly, something dawned on me and all that could come out of my mouth was ‘waooooo’!
My imagination went wild and all I could think of was what the situation or scenario would have been if Mrs. Rivers was to be living back home in Ghana and was to be making such pronouncements.
The thought of that sent chills down my spine. Ussshhh!!! All I could see and hear in my imagination was the conclusion that Mrs. Rivers is a witch and that she is responsible for the death of people in her family.
If she lived in the village, I could imagine, the whole village coming together to disgrace, beat and even probably stoning her to death for what would have meant her confession for all the wicked things she had done in the past. If she is lucky, then she will be thrown to the witch camp.
Most of us dread getting old, however, there’s mounting evidence that old age brings happiness, intellect and, even sometimes, better sex.
Personally, I always wanted to be 16 and never to grow old as I have always been terrified about getting old because of the nasty experience some old people go through in my part of the world.
For instance, the Gambaga Witch Camp is an isolated community within the Gambaga township in the northern region of Ghana, established in the 18th century, to accommodate alleged witches and wizards, mostly old people, who are banished from their communities.
In Ghana, anytime something bad or unpleasant happened to an individual or the community, the blame is usually put on the door steps of an old woman.
According to my research, African countries which have robust policies and implementation to look after the aged are: South Africa, Mauritius, Namibia, Kenya and Botswana.
The First World Assembly on Ageing was held in Vienna in 1982 under the auspices of the UN. That was followed in 2002 with the International Plan of Action on Aged in Madrid.
The 1st October of each year has been designated by the UN as a day for the aged but this day is rarely celebrated in Ghana. On this date, this year, I only saw on the Facebook wall of the Minister for Gender, Children and Social Protection, Nana Oye Lither, wishing our old folks the best of the day but this is woefully not enough.
There is an adage in the Ewe land of the Volta region of Ghana which says, ‘Deti tsitsi me aha nyuie norna,’ which means it is the old palm tree that bares the best palm wine.
This powerful proverb only proves to me that old age is a treasure hence the old people in our societies need to be held in high esteem.
No wonder Francis Bacon, an English Philosopher said, “age appears to be best in four things – old wood best to burn, old wine best to drink, old friends best to trust, and old authors best to read”.
In many parts of the world, old age is revered. It is time we started doing same and embrace our aged.
It will be my greatest wish to wake up one day to see the first home for the aged built in Ghana.
Our Metropolitan, Municipal and District Assemblies should plan to build Community Centres and Town Halls where our old folks can go to relax to play games like ‘oware’, chess, ludo, playing cards squash, and watch interesting movies.
Posterity will judge us one day on how we took care of our aged. We should not be judgmental by condemning some old people by saying they are suffering in old age because of their reckless lifestyles when they were young.
Let me conclude with this Ghanaian proverb which states that, “the new broom sweeps better but it is only the old broom that knows the dirty corners”.
Let us not forget that old age is a blessing in the sense that the young profit from having role models to emulate, and living mentors to consult whenever they have a problem to solve.
Warm wishes to our AGED!
By Angela Kafui AMENYO, a Freelance Journalist
Email: angiekafam@gmail.com
